My Partner, the Whore! YnM Jerry Springer Style
by GravityNeko
Summary: What happens when Hisoka takes his partner to....the Jerry Springer Show?
1. Intro

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yami not Matsuei. ::grits her teeth:: Ow! That hurts! ::the gun prods again::**

**Intro**

**Crowd: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!**

**:: Jerry Spring comes down from the aisle:: ::trots onto the stage:: **

**:: crowd calms::**

**Jerry: Welcome! I'm Jerry Springer, and I welcome you to a special edition of the Jerry Springer Show! ::crowd cheers:: This particular show deals with two partners ::crowd catcalls and whistles:: Real partners-like detectives or something or other. **

**:: crowd boos:: **

**Jerry: As I was saying.. ::looks over the audience:: These two partners have been working together for awhile, that is until one partner was sure his _partner.... _::winks::... had been cheating on him. **

**:: Crowd cheers and boos::**

**Jerry: Well, let's bring on the accuser....::looks at a card:: Hisoka Kurosaki!**

**::Hisoka comes out of the door, wearing blue jeans, green shirt and blue jean jacket, looking around through his brilliant green eyes:: ::women scream with delight when they see him:: **

**::Jerry chuckles:: Looks like you're very popular with the ladies, Hisoka. ::Hisoka shrugs; he couldn't care less:: **

**::Cat calls; one woman whips off her tops:: Hey, Hisoka, baby! C'mon baby light my fire!**

**::Hisoka rolls his eyes at this display:: **

**Jerry: Well, well.. ::laughs:: Quite a display on your behalf, wouldn't you say?**

**Hisoka: Whatever. **

**Jerry: ::coughs:: Right! Let's get on to business!**

**::Hisoka shrugs again::**

**Jerry: Now, Mr. Kurosaki... ::looks to the young man:: Did I pronounce that right?**

**Hisoka: Whatever. Let's just get on with it! **

**Jerry: Now! You're here because you're partner, who shall remain nameless for now, has cheated on you with another. And you're sure of it!**

**Hisoka: Yes... Why the hell else would I be here!?**

**::Jerry chuckles and rifles through his cards:: And you plan to expose this person on live TV for the adulterer they are?**

**Hisoka: I believe they should pay, yes. ::his voice was so bland:: **

**Jerry: ::laughs:: All right then! Let's bring out this person.... ::looks at the cards:: Asato Tsuzuki!**

**:: The door opens on the far side of the wall, and a beautiful man with violet eyes steps out shyly waving to the people. Across the room you can see Hisoka gritting his teeth:: Always the flirty type. **

**Jerry: ::offers his hand:: Welcome to the show, Mr. Tsuzuki.**

**Tsuzuki: It's my pleasure, Mr. Springer. **

**::Jerry smiles:: **

**Jerry: Please have a seat. **

**::Tsuzuki does just that:: **

**::Hisoka looks the other way, chin propped in his hand, trying to ignore his partner:: **

**Tsuzuki: Hisoka?**

**Hisoka: Hmph! ::turns further away::**

**Tsuzuki: ::worried:: Oh, c'mon. Look at me Hisoka.**

**::Hisoka ignores Tsuzuki:: **

**::Tsuzuki is flabbergasted:: **

**Jerry: I bet you'd like to know why Hisoka is ignoring you wouldn't you, Mr. Tsuzuki?**

**::Tsuzuki nods frantically:: Yes! Hisoka, what did I do?!**

**::Blows his top and turns to face the other:: WHAT DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?! You did the worse possible thing you could do to me, Tsuzuki!**

**::Crowd cheers; this is getting good:: **

**Tsuzuki: I-well-um... ::he's at loss for words:: **

**Hisoka: You've been cheating on me with that DAMN doctor! **

**TBC......**

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Well, what did you think? LOL Was it good? What'll happen next? Review!


	2. House Call

**ManderNaner& Mystic Dragon4: Thanks so much for your reviews! You'll have to be patient with me if I leave you at a cliffhanger, I've got a major Biology test coming up.... **

**Now, on with the show!!!!!!!!!!**

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_**Hisoka: You've been cheating on me with that DAMN doctor! **_

**::Crowd makes ooooh sound:: **

**::Jerry smiles:: Well, those ARE pretty good allegations. Wouldn't you say, Mr. Tsuzuki?**

**::Tsuzuki looks confused::**

**Hisoka: Don't you tell me you don't know what I'm talking about, Tsuzuki! I'm an empath, it's like being a mind-reader. I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!!**

**:: Tsuzuki remains quiet:: Well, haven't you anything to say...?**

**Tsuzuki: Well-I-that is, Hisoka.... :: bottom lip quivers:: I'M NOT TO BLAME!**

**::Hisoka snorts:: Is that the best you can do?!**

**::Puppy Tsusuki falls to his knees, groveling at the empath's feet, whimpering:: It-it's not my fault, Hisoka! :: grabs a hold of the boy's jeans with his kawaii puppy paws:: ::Whimpers some more:: He-he seduced me with sweets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**:: Hisoka rolls his eyes, somehow managing to glare simultaneously:: **

**Tsuzuki: I WAS HELPLESS, Hisoka!!!!!!!!!!!**

**::whimpers again, puppy tail wagging 2-40::**

**::Hisoka brushes the inu off his leg with a scoff:: Hmph! **

**Tsuzuki: H-HISOOOOKAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Jerry: Well, well... This seems a bit tame for my show doesn't it... ::gestures:: Let's bring out, Mr. Tsuzuki's supposed lover! He's a doctor with a sinister reputation, who enjoys seducing a certain violet-eyed Shinigami. Kuzutaka Muraki!**

**::The door opens once more and the evil 'death doctor" enters through it, wearing traditional white suit and long white coat:: **

**::women sigh in the audience; this doctor's looks are far from homely, the doctor in fact is quite...well...GORGEOUS with his, smooth skin, platinum blonde hair, and steely bluish-grey eyes:: ::He smiles coldly at the audience, causing the women to take their seats:: **

**Jerry: Welcome, Doctor.**

**::Muraki gives Jerry a cold stare:: Good evening...**

**::Jerry shivers:: Is there a window open or something... ::looks around:: **

**::The doctor walks over, calm as death and sits down next to Tsuzuki, smiling at him:: Ahh, the one I love....**

**:: Hisoka turns red at this; he's pissed:: **

**::Muraki then begins to feel Tsuzuki up on national television:: Uhhh, Muraki... ::gulps and moans:: ::slips a hand up his shirt:: How many times have I told you to call me, Kazutaka?? Eh?**

**::begins to pant:: Oooh, Kazutaka!!!!!!!**

**Hisoka: CUT THAT SHIT OUT ALREADY! ::more red-faced:: **

**::Tsuzuki flinched, still in Muraki's embrace:: **

**Hisoka: You're such a damn whore, Tsuzuki! He's turned you into a sweets-slut! **

**Tsuzuki: Hisoka... :: Muraki though was dangling a cinnamon bun in front of the inu's face:: Oh, yes, please, give it me! **

**Muraki: In time, love, in time... **

**:: Inu-Tsuzuki whimpers, wagging his tail, looking (yes again) kawaii in Muraki's lap his eyes going all big:: lol**

**::Muraki puts the sticky bun up to his lips then seals his over the inu's:: Mmmm...**

**::Hisoka looks like he's about to blow up:: ::Muraki glances up and smirks at the boy:: Like the view?**

**::This makes the empath even angrier:: **

**Hisoka: SWEETS-SLUT! **

**Jerry: But he's not the only one with the BIG SECRET is he, Mr. Kurosaki? **

**:: Hisoka turns red, this time embraased:: ::he freezes:: **

**Hisoka: Well-I-um...**

**Jerry: Well-I-um-What, Mr. Kurosaki?**

**:: Hisoka turns a brighter shade of red:: **

**Jerry: Let's bring on your lover, shall we?**

**TBC **

**Mwahahahaha. I know cruel, huh? Hate cliffhangers, don't you? I know. But we all must suffer sometimes... lol **


	3. Shaky Ground

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! **

**Zatken: Since you're such a nice reader and I really don't want to hold this any longer.....for myself as well as you. **

**xangel of death sarah: Thanks so much. **

**YaoiHunter: I didn't stop thanks to your review and heres the FINISHED product!**

**I thought I'd write this final chapter (sadly) before I started studying tonight. **

**Aren't I wonderful?**

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_**Jerry: Let's bring on your lover, shall we?**_

**:: The audience cheers excitedly, they're begging for more:: Yes! Yes! Yes! Do IT! Do IT! **

**Jerry: Well, Hisoka, looks like the audience has spoken.... **

**Hisoka: That's Mr. Kurosaki to you! ::flames leap around the green-eyed Shinigami:: **

**Jerry: Right.... ::chuckles:: As I was saying, let's bring on YOUR BIG SECRET. ::crowd cheers:: The one who refers to himself as the "Titan", the Secretary of Hades.... **

**::Door opens slightly:: **

**Jerry: Seiichiro Tatsumi!**

**(:: GravityNeko stops writing for a moment:: Oh, yeah! Woohoo! Isn't he just the gorgeous thing you've ever seen?! C'mere, Sweet Titan! GravityNeko needs some loving tonight! ::stops, embarrassed:: Eh heh heh.. Just ignore me... ::goes off to find a place to die:: )**

**:: The blue-eyed Secretary walks slowly onto the stage, his movements fluid, graceful, and yet very serious at the same time:: :: He wore what Tatsumi usually wore and took his seat by Hisoka, trying to ignore the gaping transformed Tsuzuki:: **

**Tsuzuki: Huh? What the heck is going on? ::looks around:: **

**Hisoka: As if you didn't know already... ::murmurs bored:: **

**:: Tatsumi leans over, looking into his young lover's eyes and sighs:: This had to come out sooner or later, Hisoka-chan...**

**Tsuzuki: Hisoka-chan! :: hurriedly unwraps himself from Muraki:: What the heck is going on?! **

**:: Hisoka turns away from him :: Isn't it obvious, Tsuzuki... Surely you can't be that dense. **

**:: Tsuzuki looks confused:: (poor Tsu-chan) **

**Hisoka: Or maybe you can... Those sweets have rotted your brain... **

**:: A light goes off in Tsuzuki's brain :: Is-is this what I think it is? **

**Hisoka: ::turns to face him:: Huh, yeah! **

**:: The violet-eyed Shinigami's eye begins to twitch:: Then what's all this crap for, 'Soka! Why all the subterfuge!? ::its hard to tell if Tsuzuki is upset or furious:: **

**:: Hisoka whips his head up :: DON'T CALL ME, 'SOKA! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT, YOU TWO-TIMING SWEETS-SLUT!**

**:: Tsuzuki's face changes; he's had it! :: **

**Tsuzuki: HEY! WHY THE HELL AM I BEING YELLED AT!? YOU'RE DOING THE SAME DAMN THING! :: tears:: YOU TOO ARE A WHORE....'SOKA!**

**:: Hisoka's body is rigid:: WHAT!? :: looks for something—a chair perhaps wink wink ::**

**(Jerry's Thoughts)**

**:: Rubs his hands together eagerly...._Oooh yeah this is getting good. Real action! Profits. Money Money Money Mwahahahah :: _**

**(As you can see Jerry is going insane. Unfortunately we can't seem to get rid of him. He's like a damn weed.... ::shakes her head:: :( :: Ok, back to the show again! Ignore me! )**

**:: Tsuzuki struggles from Muraki's grip :: Let go, Kuzataka! The little office-slut over here needs an attitude adjustment! **

**Hisoka: JUST TRY IT, DAMN YOU! **

**:: Muraki doesn't let go but begins licking the nape of the Shinigami's neck erotically:: Hmmm. :: Tsuzuki moans, writhing in the doctor's lecherous arm, falling into his perverted ways :: ::They begin to make out:: LOL **

**Hisoka: I SAID, CUT THAT FUCKING SHIT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!**

**:: The yaoi-couple ignore him, they writhe on the floor lustily:: **

**:: Hisoka is redder than red now:: FINE! I'LL STOP YOU! YOU FUCKING SLUTS! ::picks up a chair :: **

**Jerry: _Oh, my.. it's getting really violent.. Isn't it. _::looks around::_ Where are those damn guards._**

**:: BreakRoom:: **

**Guard 1: Does anyone know how to open this thing? ::looks the door then the broken-off door knob:: **

**Guard 2: Hell if I know. **

**Guard 3: Zzzzzzzzzz.**

**Guard 4: SHIT! **

**:: On Stage::**

**Jerry: Hell! Hell! Damn! Fuck! :: reaches for his cell phone ::**

**Hisoka: Fucking perverts! :: hurls the chair in the yaoi-couple's direction:: **

**:: The doctor acts quickly, gathering his sweet violet-eyed lover in his arms and leaps out of harm's way, hovering in the air:: **

**Hisoka: COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND FIGHT ME, YOU BITCHES!**

**:: Muraki looks at the boy scathingly:: **

**Tatsumi: Hisoka-chan! Please! ::makes a grab at the young Shinigami:: **

**Hisoka: Grrr! Let go me, Tatsumi! Please I just want to kill him...Just a little... **

**Tatsumi: He's all ready...**

**Hisoka: I know, but I can try, can't I? ::begins to sound deranged:: You wouldn't begrudge your Hisoka-chan that, would you? Just a little....**

**:: Tatsumi still holding on; or trying—even the Titan can't restrain an enraged Hisoka :: **

**:: Muraki however is not one to back down, such a threat on his beloved's life-uh can you really call it that?- :: ::He calls down upon an unusual power of his (don't ask, Muraki hardly does anything except kill with his hands)—ok I just made it up! give me a break! I'm only human!):: :: and strikes out at the immobile Tatsumi and enraged Hisoka:: Die.... **

**:: The dark magic strikes out at the them, aiming to destroy them both ::**

**:: That is until Tatsumi—pushing his glasses back up on his face—uses his power (seen in Episode 11: Kyoto Files part 2, vol. 4), stepping down with ball of his left foot, tearing up the stage and sending mass amounts of concrete erupting from the ground and flying into the air, disturbing Muraki's dark power's trajectory and sennding it flying back at him and Tsuzuki--who is now puppy-like and shaking:: Mmmm, I'm, scared, Kazutaka!**

**Muraki: Don't worry, love....**

**:: Harm is coming closer:: **

**A Voice: _It is the duty of us guardians to protect our master! _**

**Everyone: HUH?!**

**:: Suddenly, a giant fiery flame rises over the audienc, burning the ceiling, in the form of a...Bird? :: **

**Tsuzuki: Suzaku! **

**Another Voice: I've done it! I've done it! :: this one sounding really genki (1), a certain blonde, long-haired scientist runs out onto the stage holding up a test-tube :: This time I've really done it! **

**Audience: Huh? **

**Jerry: Oh, my.... ::faints dead away:: **

**Hisoka & Tsuzuki: SLUT! :: Hisoka's flames return and Inu-Tsuzuki is back:: **

**Watari: What did I miss? **

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**Ta Da! **

**(1) Genki... **Kid

**PHEW! Done! Well, how did you like it?! I told you Watari would be making a _brief _appearance. ::grins:: All done. ::lays back :: Now I can rest... Hope you liked it! **

**A/N: What did Watari finally do? You know that infernal sex-changing potion he's been trying to make.... winks Well, anyhow there's a good story going that way called Sweet Cakes by **Gpilot04 **. (Not me, some other author) Check it out!**

**A/N: I will be posting again to return all reviewing comments. So watch for another _chapter_.**

**GravityNeko Signing Off! **


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